When I first became a stepmom, one of the biggest transitions was from cooking for one every night – to cooking for a family of four. I was used to lots of variation and lots of experimenting… But I was now confronted with the likes and dislikes of my new family members.  

Husband: not a big pasta fan. Oldest: didn’t like some of my most adored vegetables such as asparagus and avocado. Youngest: no fan of all fish, beans, mushrooms, lemon, cold eggs in salads, couscous and cilantro. So basically: pretty normal teenagers! 

As a born people pleaser however, I simply stopped making recipes with ingredients the girls didn’t like. Even though their dad encouraged me to introduce them to new flavours. But after a while, I got a little disheartened by the large number of recipes in my cookbooks, that I deemed ‘unfit’ to cook for the girls.

So I tried to see the recipes through new eyes and got creative with substitutions! Now the tips below might not work with toddlers and small children. I guess that’s a whole other game. But this is what I did with our teens, and it might help with any (adult) picky eater at your table too. 

The simplest solution

Of course the most simple solution is to just leave an ingredient out. Or – like you might do with small kids – serve it separately. So the adults can add it as they please. And with garnishing ingredients like herbs, cheeses, nuts, or dressings – this tactic certainly works. 

Replace from within ‘the family’

But I wanted to make – for example – oven dishes, where I might have totreplace a more key ingredient. So I thought about how I could tweak recipes a bit. To the point that they would still like it. 

My basic starting point is that I will look for a replacement ‘in the family’. So replace a softer nut like pine nuts, for another softer nut like a walnut. Or replace a salty cheese like goats cheese, for another salty cheese like feta. For example: for our kids I replaced the ‘too spicy’ arugula, for the softer tasting spinach. 

This also works well when you don’t have a certain ingredient in your fridge or pantry. You can still make the recipe, most of the time. Just substitute something! I’m super relaxed about this. I find that you can replace most ingredients with something from the same family.

What to look for in replacements

Shape and color

Maybe it’s weird, but food being such a visual thing, I first look at shape and colour. Does the recipe call for tall thin greens, like asparagus? I use green beans or broccoli rabe instead. Does it call for small grains like couscous? Then any small pasta shape (like orzo) might work too.

Texture

I also try to find a similar texture. If your kid isn’t a fan of nuts, use crunchy breadcrumbs instead. And instead of crispy shaved fennel, you could use a more neutral flavoured cucumber or white cabbage. 

Cuisine

Within cuisines you can replace ingredients, as long as the flavour profile stays the same. A Greek flavoured salmon dish might be just as good with chicken. As long as the tzatziki, olives and oregano are there. And we found we could fill Mexican style tortilla wraps with almost every vegetable or protein. As long as the kids got their cheese and taco sauce.😊

Flavour

Your substitute ingredient will probably never be an exact match in flavour. But it helps to think in terms like salt, sweet, spicy, or sour. Sweet potato, carrot and butternut squash are all a bit sweet (not to mention orange). Sometimes an ingredient is about adding some ‘freshness’. Like with fresh herbs to finish a dish. Because our youngest didn’t like cilantro, I mostly used mint, basil, or flat leafed parsley. Not the same flavour, but to finish off a simple weeknight dish it’s perfectly fine in my opinion. (Like I said: I’m pretty relaxed about this.)

Start small

This might sound like a lot. But just start small. Begin with tweaking the dishes you most long for. Or that you miss eating the most. And accept that some classics just have no replacement.

Oh and please remember to check the cooking time of your alternatives! Carrots might take a lot longer in the oven, than butternut squash for example. 

My most used vegetable substitution 

• Green & long: asparagus / green beans / broccoli rabe
• Firm & crunchy: broccoli / cauliflower / brussel sprouts
• Soft & sweet: butternut squash / sweet potato / carrots / potato / parsnip
• Soft & mediterranean: eggplant / zucchini 
• Red & fresh: red peppers / tomatoes
• Legumes: beans / chickpeas / lentils
• Leafy: spinach / kale / arugula

And good to know: it does get easier! Our girls have gotten a lot more adventurous over the years and will eat almost anything now.🙏🏼